Uncle Barry's Nephew

Jim Beam Barry

2009-06-14T01:00:00.006+10:00

Been over in Berri South Australia with uncle Barry for the annual "Ferret toss nationals" We headed for the local lager outlet and were surprised to see VB cans going for the weekly special of $48....Fortyfuckingeight dollars.... Its VB. Dude 48bucks I know its 1984 here but fuck me, VB wasn't 48Dollars then either.........After I picked Uncle Bazz up from the fetal position in front of the cool room door, we settled on a beverage the locals here call West End Draught. For the more realistic price of $32. (A slab of southwark was mentioned but quickly dissmissed as a very stupid idea by both of us and the cunt behind the bar) We ended up being lured into "The Jim Beam Promo Bus" and filled full of two new shithouse jim beam products......as most of the towns folk were still at the "after toss clean up" we had the cunt to ourselves.. and all the cans...I thought it would be polite to at least help the promo girls serve us........ they were mingers but...

pensioners in a ford go to Mothers Day Enema party!

2009-05-11T01:57:00.009+10:00

I was so busy today I didnt even have time to notice that not only did the car in front of me have a portable, hospital type boggery in the back BUT if you change a few letters of the plate you also spell......ENEMA........

"maybe someones mum got a visit from the mobile coight cleaners for Mothers Day"

is all Uncle Barry could say when I showed him!!!

Uncle Barrys Nephews a published Cook...and scored a free barbq

2009-03-24T09:46:00.003+11:00

The Heat Beads 2009 Best Char Grill BBQ Recipe was announced at the Global Char Grill Showcase at 5PM Saturday 14th March. Our judging panel faced a huge challenge in selecting the winner - more than 100 entries to tempt the taste buds did not make this an enviable task! Congratulations to our winner Nguyet Tran and our two finalists Antho and Rita Masutti!

Finalist number two: Antho with his recipe for Uncle Barrys Magic Mushrooms

Well the title certainly gets one's attention! And full marks for originality. I love the citrus madness of the habenero chilli but I think that two of them in the marinade (no mention of the seeds in the recipe, tell me you didn't put the seeds in there as well Barry!) as well as two birds eye chillies would have had the average person seeing through time! Loved the idea of the lime slices on the skewers, good on ya Bazza!Uncle Barrys Magic Mushrooms -

www.heatbeads.com.au/competition.html

With the New Comish comes A few Changes.

2009-03-05T22:44:00.010+11:00

Christine Nixon is off to continue her work with the Bushfire rebuilding thingo. ...She has already done a fantastic job of eating all the livestock burned in the fires... and a cow that wandered past a bit slow... Now Big Simon has taken up the job.. Congrats on the job fella.. I am told a few changes have already been brought in across the troops... (apart from the 900 less pies the cafe has to order now Christine has gone)..Some are cost cutting others just silly... Starting with:

311 units being replaced with Patrol Camels in high "Towel Head" populated areas. This is to make the "newcommers" feel at home and also the camels are faster, and more easy to handle that the current vans....

SOG will longer have percussion grenades, smokers and tear gas to flush offenders from buildings... These guys will work twice as quickly and effectively!!!!

Tasers will not be introduced. Instead all frontline operational members will be trained in the use of a more effective, lower cost device for taking down violent offenders..........

Code 1 will be supplied with microphones only... Band members will be required to air guitar all songs...

People (or cartoon people) that can just FUCK OFF prt 3

2008-12-17T07:40:00.004+11:00

BEATBOXERS!!!!

Mp3 players are pretty cheap these days ya twats!!!

Uncle Barrys Shed Posters cont.

2008-12-14T00:06:00.004+11:00

Go and get fucked prt1

2008-12-04T18:45:00.003+11:00

I am not even going to try and come up with a smartarse comment.. I have reached the limit... thats it.. I have had a fucking gut full... I almost couldnt finish me porterhouse, mushroom sauce, chips and cold lager when ACA ran the story on teachers being encouraged to not use red pens!!!!!!! FOR FUCK FUCKING SAKE..... Heres an idea. lets get teachers to teach kids to HARDEN THE FUCK UP. What a joke.. surely its a joke??? someone tell me its a joke...!!!!! someone..anyone!!!! Fucking towel heads are taking over the joint and all these cunts are worried about is our digger aussie kids being offended by red pen.....I started to look for a link to a story about this bullshit but now ACA are doing a story on Victorias Secret... aparently Victorias secret is she has a cock.. and a ball bag..... christ... yep a bloke came up with the idea of skimpy, sexy, slutty, skanky undies for woman... yer yu could of knocked me down with a feather!!!!!!!

Check this link out..
http://www2.victoriassecret.com/collection/?cgname=OSPTYVERZZZ&cgnbr=OSPTYVERZZZ&rfnbr=1943

Now what was i talking about.... ooo who cares. weres me wank sock????...............

Bananas are not gay (unless ur putting them up ur coight)

2008-12-02T10:59:00.003+11:00

For those with a kettle Barby try these tasty little fuckers...

Barrys Bananas in Bacon

Normal fire, indirect cooking, 8-10 minutes, with lid on. Serves 6-8.
1-2 large firm bananas
2 tablespoons lemon juice
7-8 bacon strips
Hot pepper sauce
Peel the banana and cut it diagonally into thick slices. Toss the banana slices in the lemon juice and place 1 slice of banana on each bacon strip. Season them with a drop of hot pepper sauce and wrap the bacon around the banana. Secure the bacon with toothpicks. Cook them on the barbecue, with the lid on, for 8-10 minutes. Mad mad mad.......................................................

John So-Long

2008-12-01T13:30:00.005+11:00

As you may be aware Melbourne has a new Mayor.. We finaly fucked off that twat John So.. Thank Christ.. He was never my bro. In fact I could never understand a word the cunt was saying... I dont mind a little diversity but fucken hell............ A mayor that cant speak propar ingeesh... fuck me... Good to see and hear the arse end of ya John.. Apparently his departing words were " min a b yerar is gud tim an ish un mew cuncil ell and ull bis ta for mulbun, rrr sole" Uncle Barrys departing words to John are simply "dont burn the dim sims cunt"....

John So being a twat

John So with a nice piece of twat.....

Sportsman of the decade...

2008-11-27T09:52:00.002+11:00

John Daly......

Good on ya Johnny Boy.. Chain smoking fat cunts Australia wide salute ya.........

Chevy Badges on Bogandores

2008-11-25T20:02:00.003+11:00

Whats the go with these fuck wits (sorry that should be in capitals) FUCK WITS getting around in COMMONDORK UTES with Chevy Badges on them... Yer yer I get it... Its got a chevy motor in it... ooo you are too fully sick for me.. Hey the ol VLs had a Nissan motor in em. You dont see Uncle Barry racing down to "japspares" to snap up a few X-TRAIL badges for the chariot..................Like I had much pleasure of saying to the great Peter Brock over a can of lager at the Deniliquin bogan muster a few years back....."dosnt matter WHAT you do to it Brocky... Its still a commodore.....

Billy Ray Cyrus?

2008-11-20T21:37:00.007+11:00

Billy Ray Cyrus.... Remember Him???? He released this album that had no songs on it.......

Thought I was done with that cunt in 1993 when that even more cuntingly song achy breaky heart finally left the charts and our hearts...... But nooooooo, a lifetime later... and fuck me that prick looks familier me thinks as i sit with me 5 year old daughter watching her latest Hannah Montana DVD...( got to give it to ol Bazz Im on the ball. Not much gets past me except names, times, places ect....) Hang on Hannah Montanas dad is that Billy Ray Cunt... oooo yer Miley Cyrus... Billy Ray Cyrus.......Come in spinner........Funny thing is now I find myself having serious conversations around the billroy and lager with mates with kids the same age as mine, discussing how good he is.. fuck me whats going on.. he was shit.. shit i say.. Its a sad day when you realise you can relate to fucking Billy Ray Cyrus......

Good on Ya Billy... Your a dead set ledgend and welcome at Barrys Bar anytime.. As long as ya dont sing.........

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Ray_Cyrus

People (or cartoon people) that can just FUCK OFF prt 2

2008-11-18T12:40:00.005+11:00

Dave Hughes..

The partys over. Barrys had enough of your moaning and sooking. It was funny for the first month, now its just annoying... How sad on Rove Sunday night when possably the worlds funniest men Chriss Rock and Ben Stiller were talking about the Sydney Harbour Bridge and all this wanker could contribute was "Paul Hogan used to paint that bridge" in his winey little voice. What a waste of space... "Help me Hughsey" by fucking off so I can listen to Nova breakfast and enjoy Kate and Tim (who are very funny and genuinely witty) and watch Rove to enjoy a cast of funny and genuinely witty people... not listen to u banging on about shite..... and for Christ sake get that gap in ya teeth fixed before you get a fuckin tofu chicken stuck in it......................

Local Cuntcil Elections

2008-11-14T11:56:00.002+11:00

Local council elections are up in my area... Have a look at the candidates names for fuck sake..

Raziam Bokhazzi
Frankoz Merlinos
Stevenis Kozmevski
Kristol Pavlidid
Mohumid Buhagiar
Goran Torbakov
Chong lee Ng
Phulvinderjit Singh Grewal
Nassim Nassim... (lazy parents couldnt be fucked giving the twat a first name)

and finally the bloke who will surely be getting my vote
Barry Hill

On ya Bazz....

People (or cartoon people) that can just FUCK OFF pt1

2008-07-26T07:19:00.002+10:00

Dora The Explorer???

Talking shite with barry

2008-06-15T06:55:00.003+10:00

Famous people dying is even funnier when you know some one who knew them.... Uncle Barry told us when we were kids that he knew the bloke that wrote the Hockie Pokey,, A bloke called Larry LaPrise. Larry was a piss pot uncle Barry reckons. Uncle Barry told us when Larry died they put him in the coffin like put the left leg in and shake it all about... Uncle Barry reckons him and Spud Mackenzie pissed em selves for days. They did the whole song too.. apparently...

Uncle Barrys Pissed off All right!!

2008-06-15T06:46:00.004+10:00

Dear
Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that Dick Smith has my address and telephone number and knows that I
bought a shithouse tv from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking
me where I was born and on what date?
You have my birth date on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30
years. It's on my health insurance card, my driver's licence, on the last eight
bloody passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've
had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and
all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is
Maryanne, my father's name is Barry, and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between
now and when I die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I apologise Minister, but I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you and
me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You mail the application to my house, then you ask me for
my fucking address. What is going on? And would someone please tell me, why would you give
a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got
the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd
sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, because I have to go to the other end of the city and
get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60! Would it be so complicated to
have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new
passport the same day? But nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make
sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fucking place like
dickheads, then find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me
on the goddamn picture -- you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile
in?!

Uncle Barry

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and

getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this

country since 1788 when one of my forefathers arrived in a convict ship

I have served in the military and have had security clearances up the

yingyang. I was aide de camp to the Governor of our State for three years,

and I have been doing volunteer work for the CMF for about five years.

However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am -- you know

someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FUCKING

CHINA!!!

Inside the NYPD - Episode 3: The K9 Unit

2008-05-06T17:06:00.001+10:00

Gay

aint it the farken truth

2008-03-19T11:11:00.001+11:00

Retard

2008-02-18T18:27:00.003+11:00

Chroming... What??? Sniffing paint??? What are you talking about officer.. I have never.... what!!!! Paint fumes,,,,,,,... no not me!!!!!!!!!!!

K9 Units

2008-02-18T18:24:00.002+11:00

We MUST get a Helicopter!!!!!!

Matchbox 20 can fuck right off

2008-02-18T18:20:00.002+11:00

To those Melbourne radio stations who insist on playing the new matchbox 20 stuff..... FUCKING STOP IT.........

Israeli attack dogs training to prevent Arab terror

2007-10-13T20:12:00.001+10:00

Have a look at these mad fuckers... Ive done some bite work but have a look at the bite drive in these dog......MAD. I dont know whos more retarded the dogs or the bloke that said " yer ill wear the bite suit today!!!" dumb cunt. The video starts out a bit gay.. and hows tubby.. mate we know why you ot into k9 you fat cunt.. The Malinois pup at the end has sold me.. I MUST HAVE A MALINOIS.....if only to see if the zap collar gets one to release the fucking mad bite... Uncle Barry reckons it got Auntie berryl to release...........

birthday party- release the bats (live hacienda 1982)

2007-10-03T08:38:00.001+10:00

Farts in the Matrix

2007-10-02T07:55:00.001+10:00

Proof there is nothing funnier than a good fart gag.......and proof im just a fucking kid..............

NEW Lily Allen Alfie

2007-09-27T00:58:00.001+10:00

Gold

Sex Pistols - Bodies

2007-09-27T00:31:00.001+10:00

Found this pearler and had to post for BIFFY girl to check out.. Pistol Gold Mine Sosta

Fucking Commandores

2007-06-11T14:43:00.000+10:00

If a bogan commodore "backfires" out the front air box is that really a "Frontfire" I dont want to say the wrong thing to the mechanic and look like a retard!!!!

Living the dream

2007-06-11T14:26:00.000+10:00

A few many years ago Jim Barry and Meself created a small batch of quality yet slightly dodgy homemade snags...Any way a bad case of the shits and a few years later barry finally found and emailed me a few snaps of the day of creation... including one of me little Barry when he was real little that mother had never seen before... She cried at her little man... I cried at how good Barrys lawn used to look.

Bedtime stories

2007-06-11T14:11:00.000+10:00

Whilst doing the fatherly duties a while back I started to get sick of the same old Mother goose type bed time stories so started to make a few of me own beddy bullshite stories... stories like anthony wiggle and jeff wiggle down the pub for waggs birthday, jeff falls asleep and gets thrown out by a maori bouncer. I got onto a few anmals the kids love... Like the Sumasult Snake.. A snake that if you touch it makes you do summersults until you get the antidote from elmo.... The backFlip bear. same deal. touch it and youll do backflips.... the stories have progressed to including Handstand horses and Cartwheelcats. Last night I was quite largered up by bed time and the kids story had a new animal pop up a "Shit yourself shark"!! yes friends if the shark comes near ya you'll shit yourself.....and we all fell asleep to childish laughter....

Better than gay old Mother goose stories.....

Phillip Farted

2007-06-11T12:01:00.000+10:00

funie Fotos

2007-05-17T14:09:00.000+10:00

Billboards (from the arkhives by request)

2007-05-17T09:53:00.000+10:00

Many years ago while working as a Programme Director for a reginal radio station I was locked into a battle over a format change... ie. the station owners decided to move away fom a classic rock format to an adult contemp.. example.. no more Angels ACDC, Chisel and Motley Crew.........only backhole boys, Cristina Agorilla, Britney Flange and the rest. I fought like a trooper to stop the change but no one gave a fuck.... Two days before the format change I emailed the owners, managment and the board of directors. I informed them I had arranged with the Echuca council to place two billboards at the entry to the town to promote the "new sound" of Classic Rock. Only problem was I could only use two of the 5 designs I had made up, I sent a copy of my designs and asked all to respond with thier ideas. They responded alright... with a cardboard box to pack up my shit....

How to tell if ya a Nutter...........

2007-05-17T09:52:00.001+10:00

Uncle Barrys Puma T Shirt

2007-05-17T09:51:00.001+10:00

Motivational posters part 2

2007-05-16T15:17:00.000+10:00

Dropped in to Uncle Barrys for a larger the other night.. Hes snapped up a few new motivational posters for the beer shed..

Fanny Burger

2007-05-16T15:03:00.000+10:00

Thanks to Doogs for this fine photo

and if anyone posts a comment about " yer yer I tried one and took a too big bite and it tasted like shit" I will farkin kill you... OKAY

Random Play...Get Fucked

2007-05-16T14:31:00.000+10:00

I was recently having a chat with Jim Barry about how shite I-Pods are.. and how the only thing shitter that owning an I-Knob was those fuckheads you see on the train with a normal mp3 player but the shifty cunts have gone and bought the white I-Knob headphones to make people think they have a I-Knob when they dont.....Trickery Trickery..... anyway the conversation turned to random play and drunken shite like...."why is the winamp random play button labeled 123.. not 157"????? I have since noticed that my mp3 player "in Random play mode" plays the songs in the same fucking order randamly... Yep my mp3 player has become more random playing in not random mode... fuck its doing my head in........but then again I missed a train the other night I was already on!!!! Which reminds me Connex you cunts when has the Broadmeadows train EVER become the Sandringham train..... FUCKING NEVER until Antho takes a billroyed train trip to B8Toes.....

Speaking of B8toe I have an idea for that extra motor in ya shed that ya aint got a frame for mate.... Make a frame out of wood yer...

2007-05-02T17:15:00.000+10:00

Reevsey....funny Cunt

2007-05-01T23:57:00.000+10:00

For those that know fuck all. Reevsey is the best thing to come out of Deniliquin apart from the road out of the cunt of a joint....... Anyway if you get the chance to have a larger in the Federal Hotel with Reevsey (or Feral Hotal as it is loved buy the Deni Locals.) I asure you ya in for a farking laugh......

check this webshite he sent me... GOLD.

http://www.quizilla.com/users/MissAnthropy/quizzes/What%20Type%20of%20Alcoholic%20Beverage%20Are%20You%3F/

Fur Fuck Sake

2007-04-21T16:49:00.000+10:00

Nice Honda 750 Chop

2007-04-21T16:38:00.000+10:00

Years ago Uncle Barry had a honda 750. One satdy round his joint he told us about the night him and the old bikies were at the swingingarms hotel in Coolaroo in 73. Uncle Barry asked Jenny Manson to come back to his house for a little root... she said she couldnt because she was on her menstrual cycle... Old Uncle Barry told to her to leave the cunt there and jump on the back of me honda..

About time this bogan blog got a new contributa

2007-04-21T15:27:00.000+10:00

Welcome B8TOE...........not B8MOOSEKNUCKLE........

Posably the best photo ever

2007-04-21T15:19:00.000+10:00

Bad day at work

2007-04-21T15:16:00.000+10:00

Uncle Barrys Tips to picking the right one part 2

2007-04-21T03:13:00.000+10:00

Melbourne Trains....What the fuck is going on..

2007-04-21T02:59:00.000+10:00

Even Fucking Hitler could run trains on time.....cunt.

Bumper Stickuz

2007-04-21T02:15:00.000+10:00

Cartoons from batos

2007-04-21T02:13:00.000+10:00

Cunts

2007-04-21T02:11:00.000+10:00

When kids snap during exams!!!!

2007-03-20T11:04:00.000+11:00

When kids snap during exams!!!!

2007-03-20T10:58:00.000+11:00

For Fuck Sake

2007-03-20T10:46:00.000+11:00

Well dosent Margaret sound like a whinging cunt!!!!!

Uncle Barrys guide to "picking the right one"

2007-03-20T10:43:00.000+11:00

Motivational Posters are Shite

2007-02-19T10:05:00.000+11:00

You know those shite posters selfconfidencelaking cunts have hanging around the office....Well Uncle Barry has a few pearlers hanging up in his beer shed... you wont see these at Target.........Shame...

Real Estate agents will tell you anything.

2007-01-08T22:52:00.000+11:00

"Perfectly comfortable and cosy, offering an ideal start to home ownership is this brick veneer built in 1947. Handy to the Botanical Gardens."

How could a house be HANDY to the botanical gardens? A good watering is handy to the gardens, fertiliser! thats handy to the garden NOT A FUCKING HOUSE. How good are the drugs this cunt is on? I thinked real farkin good"

"Property is situated in a prime location just a short stroll to all shops, schools, cafes and railway station."

Thats great... but how close is the closest bottlo you cunts...

"It has magnificent rural views of the valley and sitting on the front porch in the evenings watching the grazing kangaroos and the sun setting over the glittering lake is sure to relax anyone."

for fuck sake you REALY need to sell your house dont ya mate? yer I can picture me now sitting on the front porch , Billroy in one hand, shotgun in other, putting a stop to those fucking Kangaroos shiting all over the joint......cunts

"The property had maintenance done on it 3 years ago."

3 years ago?????. What the fuck have you been doing you lazy cunts.. "yer 3 years ago we had to clean Uncle Barrys vomit off the bricks out the front..yer thats the last we did anythink and that"

"This three bedroom period home has been relocated from Bendigo – why is that better?"

well to start with you aint in fuckin Bendigo anymore.

and yep I fell out me fuckin chair when I stummbeled apon a deceased estate in Maldon with "Views to die for"........for fuck sake!!!!!!!!

Pisser of a gag

2006-12-20T20:47:00.000+11:00

Thanks to Smelly Shelly

Brendan Fevola's wife rings and asks "Where the bloody hell are you?"Fev says, "Running late, been in a bingle"

Bindi Bogan

2006-12-19T12:00:00.000+11:00

Bindi Irwin? Fur Farrrrk Sake........... Until Steve got Rayed I thought her name was Cindy and she was Mrs Irwin's pet monkey!!!

Ol Uncle Barry wears a suit to work now.

2006-12-19T09:35:00.000+11:00

Ol Uncle Barry got a job at The Glenroy Reject shop as store santa. All had been going well for him until yesterday A very loud, unattractive, fat, toothless mingar woman walks in with her two bogan kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the store stopping only to let the kids "have a fucking sit on bloody fucking santas fuckin knee" . Uncle Barry says, "Good morning - nice children you've got there - are they twins?" The fat ugly woman snarled: "Of course they bloody aren't! The oldest, he's 6 and the younger one, she's 3. Why the hell would you think they're twins?...Do you really think they look alike, ya dick*head"

Ol Uncle Barry replied "I just can't believe anyone would fuck you twice!"

Coppers! Funny? Fuck Yer

2006-12-18T22:32:00.000+11:00

click on pics to inbiggerate

Kern County (California) police drove this car for 1 week before an officer noticed what the graphics company employee did on the passenger side of the car. The employee did this on his last day working for the graphics company before he retired...

RELIGIOUS MIRACLES

2006-12-10T11:35:00.000+11:00

Uncle Barry got blind at me missus birthday party.. Old bastard started talking religion..."ra ra the day I rooted Joany Handson behind the Uniting Church at Brunswick in 1955 was the day I started to believe in religious miracles..." Ra ra ra on and on he went... he then told us of some other religious miracles... like:

Porcelain statue weeping human blood
"A six-inch-high porcelain statue began weeping tears of blood. The liquid staining the image is genuinely blood, and human at that. The Santiago coroner's office pronounced the substance is type O-4 human blood. The statue weeps regularly, particularly in the presence of children."

AND:

Hindu statues drinking milk
The biggest worldwide miracle in the previous decade happened when Hindu statues drank milk on 21. 9. 1995. Never before in history has a simultaneous miracle occurred on such a global scale.

And Best of all:

He told us about the day Jesus appeared in a stray dogs date outside the "Swinging Arms Hotel TAB" in Coolaroo about two years ago.......

Big Loads

2006-12-07T09:31:00.000+11:00

Got these interesting snaps from Doogs.. This is how they transport large loads in China!!!!!!!!

Apparently the same method was used to transport Casey Donavon To this years Idol Final!!!

mmmmmmmmmerry christmas

2006-12-05T10:26:00.000+11:00

Fishtank?

2006-12-04T11:39:00.000+11:00

found this while looking for a new turtle tank on the trading post webshite.....

Fishtank - 4 foot - full setup. A broken relationship has led me to selling the kids (fish) and their beautiful home. You buy the whole set up, pack up, transport and set it up yourself. Must sell before moving house., EC $550 (03)98308***

You fucking leave me I'll....I'll...I'll....I'll Sell the kids fish!!!!!!!!!

THAT WILL TEACH THE BITCH.................

More lost photos....

2006-12-04T11:04:00.000+11:00

Antho in the old 3BO Studio looking Smug

Antho looking not too smug

(have another Billroy youll be right)

Not much going on in Bendigo Then

2006-11-28T22:17:00.000+11:00

From the Bendigo bank web shite:

Our New Head Office Web Cam

Bendigo Bank’s new headquarters is a landmark redevelopment of the city centre. It will incorporate a new shopping complex, cafes and outdoor meeting areas – including a timber-decked Bendigo Creek – and has been styled as “Bendigo’s Southbank”/EM>

(FUCK OFF... "Bendigos Wankbank")

You can watch building progress right here with our "Bank Cam" web cam.

(what the fuck Is Bendigo that fucked that the punters are logging on to watch a building being built???

Check it out, great web cam you get to see builders standing around all day scratching thier arses!!!!!!!!!! Cunts..) -

High Bandwidth connections Workers are currently working on stage one, which is the main office building. The next stage will involve demolition of the old Lyric building, which will be commemorated within the new development.

(That should be great a 100 Year old picture theater will be flattened to make room for 1000s of nerdy bank wankers in suits and gay name badges... My Uncle Barry fingered Shelly Johnson at the Lyric in 1947..Barrys fucking pissed off.. he wants that fucking afternoon commemorated within the commemoration)

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CAMEL TOE AND A MOOSE KNUCKLE

2006-11-28T13:42:00.000+11:00

with thanks to "Reevsey"!!!!

Exhibit A : Camel Toe

Exhibit B: MOOSE KNUCKLE

Glad we fucking sorted that out once for all..........

The Lost Photos

2006-11-27T22:44:00.000+11:00

Fridge full of larger....... few hours t spare.....shed full of shit... Time for the spring Billroy shed clean up......furfucksaketheresfuckingshiteveryfuckingwerecuntingfuckenidea....hang on what this under the box of old vhs porno tapes...THE LOST FUCKING PHOTOS....... GOLD

Hows this pearler...circa 1987... Young Antho Barry in his Home Studio..mullet... pink and white shorts and a Jimmy Barnes tshirt.... No Doubt its a Wham record on the turntable.........

Then a golden moment

in a nice green shirt, mullet, mo and fluffy dog!!!!!

Cousin Ivans Crap Joke

2006-11-23T11:25:00.000+11:00

OOOO Yer I get it.. you've cut off ya cods...........
HA HA ha h FUCKWIT!!!!!

Parent Helpers Clean Up Other Kids Vommit

2006-11-22T10:10:00.000+11:00

Got the big slip to help out at the young fellas new school......MMMMM okay what should I sign up for....Canteen..yum..no better not... Uniform Shop ..NAR gay .....School Banking. NAR fuck that..Newsletter Collating...mmmm best not.....hang on whats this??? Sick Bay Laundry....What the furk??? SICK BAY LAUNDRY!!!! these cunts must be joking ..

Pink Sock?

2006-11-22T09:01:00.000+11:00

What the fuck is a pink sock you ask........

Visit
http://www.thepinksock.com/the-pink-sock.php

for the piss funny answer.....

Email from Mum

2006-11-19T22:13:00.000+11:00

Got this email from me mother today.. always nice to hear from mother dear.. Me step father had a little fall down today??????

----- Original Message -----
From: Motherdear
To: Antho
Sent: Sunday, November 19, 2006 7:12 PM
Subject: Mark

Love Im still getting over this afternoon, thank god biff had called in on her way home from Scotts. Mark had like a fit and blacked out and fell straight back off his chair. By the time Biff sang out for me to ring an ambulance he came round. So Im just keeping a bit of a close eye on him at present. He seems okay now is cooking himself chops on the barby. Hes been drinking water all day today ive told him its not good for him to have a VB. Mum

To: Motherdear
From: Antho
Subject: Mark
Sent: Sunday, November 19, 2006 7:14 PM

yer get rid of the VB out of his diet.. get him on the Boags or coopers. fucking VB is the shitest beer about........actually the last time I drank heaps of VB i fell off me chair too.

Farkin Bono

2006-11-19T07:41:00.000+11:00

Getting a bit sick of that fucking Bono and his surprise guest performances..the cunts likely to show up at the Glenroy RSL and sing a tune with the fucking Satdy nite bistro band...christ all mighty.....

Uncle Barry seen U2 years ago..he reckons half way thru the concert Bono has told everyone to be quiet..Then the nutbag started to slowly clap his hands..then said "every time I clap my hands a child in Africa dies"

Uncle Barry yelled out to him "well stop fucking doing it then!!!!"

Amy Lee ( Hottie or Miserable cunt)

2006-11-17T20:40:00.000+11:00

I was deep in thought today after watching a few Evanescence clips.. is Amy Lee a "Hottie" or a

"Miserable Cunt" I googled her and soon got the answer!!!!!!!

A Bunch Of Ratbags

2006-11-17T19:18:00.000+11:00

Found this book in Uncle Barry's tiolet library. What a ripper. Written by a dude who was one of the original 1950s West Melbourne Bodgies. These little shits were the dodgyiest cunts going around. Uncle Barry can remember em stealing the salt off his chips down the pinnies one arvo..

I only got to page nine were William is describing his house before the laughter started....and it hasnt stoped..A great look into early Australian Boganism... Book Granny into rehab!!!!

From the ARKHIVES

2006-11-16T21:43:00.000+11:00

Uncle Barry’s Shite Wok

Uncle Barry’s birthday last weekend. He got up early…ripped into 6 cans before Auntie Beryl woke up and gave him his present, a flash new barb-b-q. The Old fella thought it was quite dandy until he spotted the wok burner. “What the fuck is that all about. fuck off to wokapore and hong wok with that fuckin thing” he ranted and raved to auntie Beryl. “A wok burner. On a Barbie. NO fuck off.” He yelled before taking to the cunt with an axe. He hacked it off, threw up and passed out all before any of the rellos got to see him for his big day.

So I ended up with a wok burner for my shite ol barbe… I have made this curry in Honor of another outstanding performance by Uncle Barry on his Birthday.

Barrys Birthday Barby Curry

Ingredients`

250g Fritz. It must be fritz. Not fucken Devon or Strasburg.

1 420 gram can of Heinz Spaghetti in tomato sauce & cheese

1 of Uncle Barrys Fresh Midnight Madness Habaneros

Mayo

Butter

Now pay attention for fuck sake.

Cut up fritz in to small cubes and fry up.

Once the cunts start to go brownish throw in a dash of butter, a few squirts of mayo and chopped Habo.

Fry up until you can’t hold your noise over the pot for the capsicum fumes. Then add spaghetti a bit more mayo, and any Habo you were too frightened to add earlier you girl and let simmer for about a billroy.

Serve on Toast with a cold larger….

NOT BEFORE BACON AND EGGS

Eid iot Festival prt 2

2006-11-16T17:41:00.000+11:00

I found the photos from the mussie fest the other week.. Firstly we have the Federal Police pissar the Feds with an info tent at the islamic festival...
Secondly a nice shot of my sweet pooface girl waiting for a go on the trampaline (at 10 bucks for 3 minutes mind you...fucking feds should investigate that rougue cunt) HAVE A FUCKING LOOK AT THE NICE BROWN COSTUME THAT POOR ALLAH KIDS PARENTS DRESSED HIM IN...someone tell these cunts its 2006 fur christs sake.....and thirdly the look on me boys face when I asked him if he was having fun at the festival... He thought he was at the Melbourne Show and was very pissed off when i explaned what was really going on..

Eid iot festival

2006-11-16T17:27:00.000+11:00

From the arkhives Date: Sat, 28 Oct 2006 16:06:15 +1000

Saturday arvo... mmm might have a larger..outside i go and fuck me whats going on over the broady park me thinks...from my joint it sounds like some cunt is killing livestock!!!!!! and by the smell and the smoke all over the show there doing a fine job of frying it up too.......This must be looked into further I think!! So over to the park I go and fuck me, the towel heads are having their EID festival. The SAME FUCKING BULLSHIT SHITEFEST that i got FUCKING WELL KICKED OUT OF LAST YEAR!!!! ( some of you may remember me going on about it for months...."fucking bloody fuck fucks blah blah blah" Anyway I snuck in and you know STILL NOT A BEER TENT ANYFUCKINGWERE...............They obviously took no notice of the suggestions that I shouted at em as I was leaving so hastely last year...Once again the sounds of slaughtered cattle was just Shiek Muhammed Nutbag ranting and raving.. ....and if I remember, later tonight they turn the pa right up and we will be treated to the sounds of some dude S C R E A M I N G into the microphone " HAAAABBBBIIIBBBB" then BOOOM fireworks. This will go on for about an hour.... "HABIB" "BOOM" HABIB" "BOOMB" "FUCK ME"...........No hang on.....thats tomorrow night...
Anyway this year I behaved due to the much less amount of beer comsumed prior to going and you know, even sober the festival still sucked arse and was again quite gay!!! but at least this time when I left I wasnt escorted by 50 guys in white dresses and funny hats!!!!!!!!!
Thats enough culture for a month Barry best have a roy and a lay down now...

Fucking gay thing

2006-11-16T17:21:00.000+11:00

I'm fucked if i can figure out how to put pictures on this bog.. best have a roy and larger and a little think..oooo hang on here we go....sweeeeeet