Jim Beam Barry

Been over in Berri South Australia with uncle Barry for the annual "Ferret toss nationals" We headed for the local lager outlet and were surprised to see VB cans going for the weekly special of $48....Fortyfuckingeight dollars.... Its VB. Dude 48bucks I know its 1984 here but fuck me, VB wasn't 48Dollars then either.........After I picked Uncle Bazz up from the fetal position in front of the cool room door, we settled on a beverage the locals here call West End Draught. For the more realistic price of $32. (A slab of southwark was mentioned but quickly dissmissed as a very stupid idea by both of us and the cunt behind the bar) We ended up being lured into "The Jim Beam Promo Bus" and filled full of two new shithouse jim beam products......as most of the towns folk were still at the "after toss clean up" we had the cunt to ourselves.. and all the cans...I thought it would be polite to at least help the promo girls serve us........ they were mingers but...

pensioners in a ford go to Mothers Day Enema party!

I was so busy today I didnt even have time to notice that not only did the car in front of me have a portable, hospital type boggery in the back BUT if you change a few letters of the plate you also spell......ENEMA........

"maybe someones mum got a visit from the mobile coight cleaners for Mothers Day"

is all Uncle Barry could say when I showed him!!!

Uncle Barrys Nephews a published Cook...and scored a free barbq

The Heat Beads 2009 Best Char Grill BBQ Recipe was announced at the Global Char Grill Showcase at 5PM Saturday 14th March. Our judging panel faced a huge challenge in selecting the winner - more than 100 entries to tempt the taste buds did not make this an enviable task! Congratulations to our winner Nguyet Tran and our two finalists Antho and Rita Masutti!

Finalist number two: Antho with his recipe for Uncle Barrys Magic Mushrooms

Well the title certainly gets one's attention! And full marks for originality. I love the citrus madness of the habenero chilli but I think that two of them in the marinade (no mention of the seeds in the recipe, tell me you didn't put the seeds in there as well Barry!) as well as two birds eye chillies would have had the average person seeing through time! Loved the idea of the lime slices on the skewers, good on ya Bazza!Uncle Barrys Magic Mushrooms -

www.heatbeads.com.au/competition.html

With the New Comish comes A few Changes.

Christine Nixon is off to continue her work with the Bushfire rebuilding thingo. ...She has already done a fantastic job of eating all the livestock burned in the fires... and a cow that wandered past a bit slow... Now Big Simon has taken up the job.. Congrats on the job fella.. I am told a few changes have already been brought in across the troops... (apart from the 900 less pies the cafe has to order now Christine has gone)..Some are cost cutting others just silly... Starting with:

311 units being replaced with Patrol Camels in high "Towel Head" populated areas. This is to make the "newcommers" feel at home and also the camels are faster, and more easy to handle that the current vans....

SOG will longer have percussion grenades, smokers and tear gas to flush offenders from buildings... These guys will work twice as quickly and effectively!!!!

Tasers will not be introduced. Instead all frontline operational members will be trained in the use of a more effective, lower cost device for taking down violent offenders..........

Code 1 will be supplied with microphones only... Band members will be required to air guitar all songs...

People (or cartoon people) that can just FUCK OFF prt 3

BEATBOXERS!!!!

Mp3 players are pretty cheap these days ya twats!!!

Uncle Barrys Shed Posters cont.

Go and get fucked prt1

I am not even going to try and come up with a smartarse comment.. I have reached the limit... thats it.. I have had a fucking gut full... I almost couldnt finish me porterhouse, mushroom sauce, chips and cold lager when ACA ran the story on teachers being encouraged to not use red pens!!!!!!! FOR FUCK FUCKING SAKE..... Heres an idea. lets get teachers to teach kids to HARDEN THE FUCK UP. What a joke.. surely its a joke??? someone tell me its a joke...!!!!! someone..anyone!!!! Fucking towel heads are taking over the joint and all these cunts are worried about is our digger aussie kids being offended by red pen.....I started to look for a link to a story about this bullshit but now ACA are doing a story on Victorias Secret... aparently Victorias secret is she has a cock.. and a ball bag..... christ... yep a bloke came up with the idea of skimpy, sexy, slutty, skanky undies for woman... yer yu could of knocked me down with a feather!!!!!!!

Check this link out..
http://www2.victoriassecret.com/collection/?cgname=OSPTYVERZZZ&cgnbr=OSPTYVERZZZ&rfnbr=1943

Now what was i talking about.... ooo who cares. weres me wank sock????...............